August 18, 2007
Unpaused
Life.
It's a funny, strange, unrelenting, fastflowingandcan'tcatchyourbreath kind of thing sometimes. Recording it helps to slow it down I think, or at least helps you remember what it is you've done when you turn around. Days and weeks and months can transmogrify too easily into the past with hardly a memory to note their existence. I've said many times that I was going to write more, even just to remember what I do each day, what events happen that shape my life or alter its course. I'm trying that again. And for me and my techno-driven lifestyle, online is good. Physical writing has special tactile elements to it that are not captured when typing, but anything is better than nothing.
I guess I'm just thinking about life and stuff again because my life has been so busy lately, with so much happening. In the last two and a half weeks (actually, most all this happened in just one week), I lost my dog of 12 years, Mariah; my church had a three day family-focused VBS type event, which I photographed; I went to Yosemite for a youth group reunion/retreat and hiked Half Dome (about 19 miles - we went the longer way); two people I have not talked with in a very long time called out of the blue; I had my first meeting as a trustee at my church; and an old friend of the family came up from Bakersfield and helped around the house for a day of two dump runs, hanging a shelf in the garage, and moving large furniture from the storage unit. And right before that busy week I had the third bachelor party and then wedding (I shot both, of course) in the last 12 months, another event which I shot at church (Knight of Honor - to show gratitude to our local police, fire, and paramedics), and...I don't even remember what else.
One friend is taking a year (at least) off from his PhD program, another got an offer at a law firm for next year when he graduates, a third broke up with her year-long boyfriend, a fourth is having questions of her own about her schooling decisions, I'm still searching fruitlessly for a better job, the right girl, and my own place. And for me, to top it off, I've not been writing. The essence of who I am, I have not been expressing, exploring, or experiencing. I have been shooting a little more, but I've yet to translate that love into anything more than huge allocations of memory on my hard drive. I feel like my life has been on pause, for perhaps a long time, and I feel ready to hit play again. Let's see what happens next. If all goes well, I should* have a site soon that I'll be able to sell some photography through. That is a goal. Do that, get a portfolio, then there are a few more jobs that might look at my application.
I have a few needs, a whole lot of wants, and one or two dreams. Money cannot buy most of them, and the few it could take way more than I have. But I have friends, and I have family. And I have gifts and abilities, which, even if I am not utilizing fully at this time, I still retain. And I have hope: hope in Christ, hope in the future, and hope for myself. Let's get this life started.
Pressing play...
It's a funny, strange, unrelenting, fastflowingandcan'tcatchyourbreath kind of thing sometimes. Recording it helps to slow it down I think, or at least helps you remember what it is you've done when you turn around. Days and weeks and months can transmogrify too easily into the past with hardly a memory to note their existence. I've said many times that I was going to write more, even just to remember what I do each day, what events happen that shape my life or alter its course. I'm trying that again. And for me and my techno-driven lifestyle, online is good. Physical writing has special tactile elements to it that are not captured when typing, but anything is better than nothing.
I guess I'm just thinking about life and stuff again because my life has been so busy lately, with so much happening. In the last two and a half weeks (actually, most all this happened in just one week), I lost my dog of 12 years, Mariah; my church had a three day family-focused VBS type event, which I photographed; I went to Yosemite for a youth group reunion/retreat and hiked Half Dome (about 19 miles - we went the longer way); two people I have not talked with in a very long time called out of the blue; I had my first meeting as a trustee at my church; and an old friend of the family came up from Bakersfield and helped around the house for a day of two dump runs, hanging a shelf in the garage, and moving large furniture from the storage unit. And right before that busy week I had the third bachelor party and then wedding (I shot both, of course) in the last 12 months, another event which I shot at church (Knight of Honor - to show gratitude to our local police, fire, and paramedics), and...I don't even remember what else.
One friend is taking a year (at least) off from his PhD program, another got an offer at a law firm for next year when he graduates, a third broke up with her year-long boyfriend, a fourth is having questions of her own about her schooling decisions, I'm still searching fruitlessly for a better job, the right girl, and my own place. And for me, to top it off, I've not been writing. The essence of who I am, I have not been expressing, exploring, or experiencing. I have been shooting a little more, but I've yet to translate that love into anything more than huge allocations of memory on my hard drive. I feel like my life has been on pause, for perhaps a long time, and I feel ready to hit play again. Let's see what happens next. If all goes well, I should* have a site soon that I'll be able to sell some photography through. That is a goal. Do that, get a portfolio, then there are a few more jobs that might look at my application.
I have a few needs, a whole lot of wants, and one or two dreams. Money cannot buy most of them, and the few it could take way more than I have. But I have friends, and I have family. And I have gifts and abilities, which, even if I am not utilizing fully at this time, I still retain. And I have hope: hope in Christ, hope in the future, and hope for myself. Let's get this life started.
Pressing play...
