Living Each Moment

I was working out in the yard this week, planting, watering, cleaning, etc, then finally succumbed to the heat and came inside for a while to work on the computer. I'd been inside for half an hour or so when I thought I felt something on the back of my neck. Without thinking I just swiped my hand across my neck, felt something fuzzy, and then a penetrating pain. Jerking it back, I discovered a stinger in my finger, thrust deep like Christopher Columbus jabbing the flag into the beach when he landed and claimed the country. I could hardly believe it - I was inside, and had been for some time. Where the heck did a bee come from!? Must have hitched in on my clothes or something. Since I'm pretty severely allergic to bees, I had to act quick. First order of business, getting that stinger out. Luckily tweezers only too a few moments to find. I was tempted to try to use my fingers, but thought I remembered hearing stories about not getting the whole thing out, so wanted to do it right. Then running the throbbing finger under cold water, getting a benadryl down me, and getting the site iced. I haven't been stung in many years, even though I like to "pet" bees - something my dad taught me when I was little - but I remembered one of the last times I was stung I had quite the reaction. That one was on my arm, which quickly became swollen to about 3/4 of an inch high, and in a large oval of 7 to 8 inches in length. Yeah, that wasn't happy. Didn't want that to happen again. I don't know if it was the quick response or the two years of allergy shots I had while in school, but I came through this relatively unscathed. Numb from the ice, and a bit swollen and stiff in the joint (no typing for a little while), but yeah, pretty okay. I snagged a macro shot of the dagger he'd plunged into me. Never did find the bee though. For a while I had this image of a stingerless bee coming to haunt my dreams with cries of "What've ye done with me stinger!!!" - kind of like camp stories of the hook man popping up in the back of your car. I wonder if I'll ever find my fuzzy assailant, or if his sting will be the only remembrance of my brush with a nasty allergic reaction.

Okay, this is less of a writing post and more of a pictures post. I literally have hundreds (well over a thousand, literally) of photos that I've taken at all the events of the last few weeks, and have just been too busy to do anything with them. So, a few are going to get posted right now, regardless of the time.
(Click on photo for a larger image)

PROMIES KEEPERS 2007 - FRESNO, CA





YOSEMITE AND HALF DOME WITH THE WALTERS

Vernal Falls
















Okay, this is taking a LONG time to upload. But at least this gets a few posted. Enjoy!

# posted by Nathaniel @ 2:45 AM 0 comments

Sometimes amazing things can happen from things that are slightly less than amazing. It's a good reminder that God is in control, not man.

I'm down in Fresno at the moment, for a Promise Keeper's conference, the first I've been to in several years. The venue is smaller, there are fewer people (about 7,100 instead of 50,000), and the whole thing - yes, it feels somewhat like it's become a "thing," a "slick" thing even, complete with marketing - but God is still present - you only have to look down at the floor when 500 people or so come to Christ and about another 300 rededicate themselves.
This event...God was there this evening. You could feel him moving, bringing to fruition seeds that were planted and have been growing for some time. Even in our own group we had someone make a choice for Christ. He first came to our church just about a year ago after an invitation and attending our first motorcycle rally (our second annual rally is coming up September 15th). He's been coming fairly regularly for most of the last year, but that was it - just coming, not really deciding where he stood, I don't think. God was working on him though, and tonight that work resulted in a harvest as he decided to give his life to Jesus. I took a picture of him right after the prayer, and you can just see the difference on his face - he was shining.
Yet even in the midst of this my thoughts go to Diana, who I believe is right in the middle of going to Scotland to try that radical treatment for her cancer. I think she flies out tomorrow. I'm just praying that she will get better - I really want to see her again. I don't know where she stands with God, and I want to see her again at least in heaven if I don't see her here. Like one of the speakers shared tonight, it's like Noah's ark (he is an archaeologist - well, more amazing than that - more like a living, breathing Indiana Jones - finding all kinds of amazing things, using the Bible as his treasure map of sorts - no seeking "treasure" per se, but physical, historical evidence of Biblical events - and he's found some amazing stuff). Noah's Ark - it's like our life here on earth - we only have a choice what we're going to do as long as that door is open, as long as our heart is still beating. When that door closed, when we die --- our choice is gone. His father had never understood why his son traveled all over the world, risking his life many times over, looking for the things he did. When he was dying, he shared with him that illustration about the ark's door closing, how you had to believe and get aboard *before* the rain started, before death came. And in the last of his time here on earth, he finally understood, and make that choice to get aboard the ark, to accept Christ's sacrifice for himself.
I have so many people I pray this for, and so many more that I should. Right now though, my thoughts and prayers are with Diana - the door for her is possibly closing very quickly.

But life goes on, either way. Another friend called last night to ask for prayer (in itself a big thing), because her work situation was just switched all around, and she's not sure how she's going to make her bills this month. She loves God, but has gone away from the church, and lives across the country. She has had an incredibly difficult life - I'll leave it at that - but she has learned to have faith in God. She is being tested though, to not take the matter into her own hands, but to have faith. I pray for her as well, that God will work miraculously in her life, to show her His love, care, and providence.

Tomorrow is the second (and final) day of this Promise Keepers conference. God has done great things through it tonight, and I expect Him to do more tomorrow. The thing that matters though, is what we all, as men, do when we go back to our home churches, our everyday lives, to our families, wives, children, workplaces, and private lives. We are being challenged to be more, to be men, warriors, brothers. That only happens in the everyday, in consistency, in endurance. We must be like Christ, who "for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2). We must remember what Paul said in Corinthians:

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
Corinthians 9:24-27

We must remember that we are to put on the full armor of Christ as commanded in Ephesians 6 - remembering that we are never told to take it off. As long as we are on this earth, sojourning here, we are in a battle - a spiritual battle, with spiritual consequences. In ourselves, in our own flesh, we can not help but fail; in Christ, we can not help but win. Romans 8:31 - "If God is for us, who can be against us?" and Romans 8:37 "...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" and John 16:33 "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" and I John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." On and on, over and over and over again, we are reassured, we are encouraged, we are commanded...but are we yet convinced?

The only thing that matters from all this, the only way of knowing what's true, and what's real, is in what happens next, in the fruit that we bear in our lives, as men, as Christians. If we are only words, we are only green leaves that make the vine pretty, but are not doing what we are meant to do - produce. Grace is free, salvation is free, love is free - but the only real evidence anyone in this world, in ANY relationship, has of love, is what the person does. Do our actions match our words? That is the hard question that we all must face, that we must ask ourselves. And if the answer is no, then why not?

Look in the mirror today, and ask yourself, are you who you say you are? Are you who you want to be? Do just wish and dream. BE the man you were made to be. Today.

Overcome the world, be more than a conqueror, bear much fruit. Be able to say "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." Strive for the prize of hearing one day. "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Grace lets you run the race, love makes you run faster. Think of Eric Liddell, known on earth for running fast, known in heaven for running for the Lord, for living for the Lord, and eventually for dying while working for the Lord. We can also take the lesson of 1 Samuel 2:30 from Liddell's life: "Those who honor Me I will honor."

Words, even mine, can go on forever. The thing that matters, is what we choose, now, today, this very moment. Stop reading this, and examine your life. Where are you, where do you want to be, and how are going to get there. You will not get there on your own, and you will not get there without prayer. Pray now, and go with God.

If you want to create a new habit, consistency is key. One of my favorite blogs, lifehacker.com, has numerous articles on "installing" habits of all colors and sizes. I especially liked one linked article from learning trainer S. Burns about making your bad habits hard to do, and your good ones easy, and one from Jerry Seinfeld about "not breaking the chain." I used to do something in the same vein with a large size desk calendar taken apart and posted on my closet, when I was in school. I somehow lost that habit, and I think it's hurt me. That's actually something I need to get back into doing I think. Seeing the next couple of months at a glance can be really helpful, and seeing the days and events getting crossed off really helps you to have a sense of accomplishment, as well as time passing, to help you not to waste what time you have.
Anyway, the best advice or most amazing knowledge is nothing if not acted on, so beyond the knowing, you have to actively keep up with the doing as well. Synergy is a buzzword, but it's also a great reality. Things in your life have to work together - if you're always fighting with yourself, or stumbling over your own messes all the time, nothing will get done, and your life will quickly pass before your eyes without anything being done and without you having made any impact or difference.
It's not about speed or quantity, but consistency. Sure, consistently fast and large is better than consistently small and slow, but consistently small and slow is better than sporadically fast and large. Basic financial advice; basic life advice.
In life, know who you are, know who you want to be, and then figure out how you are going to get there. AND commit to making that "dream you" a reality. Don't give up so easily when you hit a setback. Don't fall prey to being "too easily satisfied" (See A.W. Tozer's "Pursuit of God" for the reference - PDF here - right click to download).
There's so much that can be said on this subject, but I would not be taking my own advice if that's all I did. My focus with this blog is to make (better) record of my life and thoughts, and to get back in the habit of writing. Sure, this isn't highbrow stuff (at least not right now), but that's not my aim - I just need to get back to writing, consistently. At least that's one thing we can count on from Christ - no matter what happens with us or in our lives, HE never changes (1, 2). In that we can take comfort; in that we can find our example and goal.

Just scored an invite to spiralfrog.com - going to have fun checking that out :)

The problem with living is that someday you're going to die.

I would say that I've seen my fair share of death, and then some. I
still have both my parents, but there are a lot of other people I've
lost, and more beyond that that I've lost in other ways. Death always
has a way of making you stop, and think, and reassess.
Like I mentioned in the last post, I lost my dog Mariah recently.
Today after church there was a memorial service for someone from the
school our church is associated with - after our service I helped the
son get the slideshow he had made of his dad's life to work on the
computer - his dad had been only 57. And also today I found out that a
friend, that I knew has cancer, probably won't live out the year, and
might not live out the month. This friend has had death visit her
before, taking her 13 year old daughter, who fell off a cliff while at
camp.
Death never takes a break, never a holiday, never a rest. No matter
how long you live, you know that eventually, it's going to come for
you. A lot of people try to avoid that fact, but it's one thing you
cannot avoid. This is not a reason to be fatalistic, or to live only
for this day, tossing all thought of tomorrow to the wind. No -
realizing and accepting the fact of death *should* make you realize
that it is essential to live each day, each moment, to its fullest. I
guess that's kind of the idea behind the name of this blog, even
though I created it a long time ago. Life's funny that way.
I guess what I'm saying...is live by the cliches. Dance like no one is
watching. Live as each day could be your last. Live without regret.
Live like Christ died yesterday, rose today, and is coming tomorrow.
Cliches, one and all - but they have truth in them - if you CHOOSE, if
you are able, to see it. The tough part then is to live it. As
Gibson's Wallace said, "All men die, but not all men really live."
Living this way might not make facing death any easier, but it will
make living better. It is the way God intends for us to live, through
Christ.

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
John 10:10b

Life.

It's a funny, strange, unrelenting, fastflowingandcan'tcatchyourbreath kind of thing sometimes. Recording it helps to slow it down I think, or at least helps you remember what it is you've done when you turn around. Days and weeks and months can transmogrify too easily into the past with hardly a memory to note their existence. I've said many times that I was going to write more, even just to remember what I do each day, what events happen that shape my life or alter its course. I'm trying that again. And for me and my techno-driven lifestyle, online is good. Physical writing has special tactile elements to it that are not captured when typing, but anything is better than nothing.
I guess I'm just thinking about life and stuff again because my life has been so busy lately, with so much happening. In the last two and a half weeks (actually, most all this happened in just one week), I lost my dog of 12 years, Mariah; my church had a three day family-focused VBS type event, which I photographed; I went to Yosemite for a youth group reunion/retreat and hiked Half Dome (about 19 miles - we went the longer way); two people I have not talked with in a very long time called out of the blue; I had my first meeting as a trustee at my church; and an old friend of the family came up from Bakersfield and helped around the house for a day of two dump runs, hanging a shelf in the garage, and moving large furniture from the storage unit. And right before that busy week I had the third bachelor party and then wedding (I shot both, of course) in the last 12 months, another event which I shot at church (Knight of Honor - to show gratitude to our local police, fire, and paramedics), and...I don't even remember what else.
One friend is taking a year (at least) off from his PhD program, another got an offer at a law firm for next year when he graduates, a third broke up with her year-long boyfriend, a fourth is having questions of her own about her schooling decisions, I'm still searching fruitlessly for a better job, the right girl, and my own place. And for me, to top it off, I've not been writing. The essence of who I am, I have not been expressing, exploring, or experiencing. I have been shooting a little more, but I've yet to translate that love into anything more than huge allocations of memory on my hard drive. I feel like my life has been on pause, for perhaps a long time, and I feel ready to hit play again. Let's see what happens next. If all goes well, I should* have a site soon that I'll be able to sell some photography through. That is a goal. Do that, get a portfolio, then there are a few more jobs that might look at my application.
I have a few needs, a whole lot of wants, and one or two dreams. Money cannot buy most of them, and the few it could take way more than I have. But I have friends, and I have family. And I have gifts and abilities, which, even if I am not utilizing fully at this time, I still retain. And I have hope: hope in Christ, hope in the future, and hope for myself. Let's get this life started.

Pressing play...