September 10, 2007
Want and Need: Learning the difference
God rarely gives me what I want, but He always gives me what I need.
I'm not talking about what I think I need, but what I actually do need. This was reinforced to me this afternoon.
I've been having a bit of car trouble, most recently having my car die on my way home from work. I was driving along, and then the radio cuts out, the power steering seems to stop working, and flooring it isn't getting me over 20mph. I pull over, check everything under the hood that I know how, and can't figure it out. I let it sit for a moment, drive it around the block where I pulled over a couple times, then as I'm trying to get back on the road, it completely dies - no click-click-click, no straining to start, no anything at all. Car's dead. I call the mechanic, explain what happened, he says it sounds like the alternator, suggests I get a new battery, should be able to get back to Concord from Palo Alto that way. I call my buddy Sale, he comes and takes me to Sears, I get a battery, put that in, and am able to get back home. Still have the root problem to take care of - just needing a new battery would have been too easy.
Anyway, so this morning I call my mechanic up again, and he tells me to bring the car on over to his house. Car starts up okay, but midway there I start losing power again. I'm praying, "God, please just get me there. I need to know you're with me. Just make all the lights green so I know you're with me and I can get there okay." See, the car was having the most problems whenever I slowed down. If I didn't have to slow down, I should be alright getting there. I've driven across town with all green lights multiple times, so I thought my request was well within reason, and would help me know God was with me. Doesn't happen. I get of the main road and start toward Irfan's house, and there's a light, and the car dies. It won't turnover, nothing. I'm able to get past the light by pushing the car off to the side, and then I call Irfan. I'm only a few blocks away, so he tells me to walk to his place and get a jumper kit and see if I can finish making it to his place if I can get the car going again. So I do that. Those things are heavy by the way. A battery is like 50 pounds I would guess, and the little jumper pack must be 30 or so. It's not that that's so heavy in and of itself, but its weight is unexpected for its size. Anyway, I get back to my car, am able to jump it alright, and excitedly start driving to his house again. I start going up a hill, and it dies again. Stop, move off to the side, pop the hood, jump the battery, close hood, get in, and press the gas to go again, but it's already died again *sigh* - get out, repeat the procedure. This time I think through the procedure, shave unnecessary actions that slowed me down, and manage to unhook the jumper, close the hood, get in the car, and press the gas in probably about 2.5 seconds, and am just barely able to catch it before it dies again and get the gas going. Flooring it let's me build up speed to about 10mph, I slingshot around the last corner, where it promptly dies again, but I have just enough momentum to coast up the hill far enough to make it to his house. I'm thinking to myself, "God, why didn't you help me get here" as he tests the engine and confirms that the alternator is dead (it was putting out like .76 volts, when it's supposed to do 12 volts). Driving me home, Irfan is saying that he knew God helped me get home and get to his place. That's when it hit me. I wanted God to make it easy on me and just make all the lights green and let me get there without any more problems and just coast up to Irfan's house. I needed to get my car there so he could fix it. I thought that I needed the lights to be green for that to happen. I didn't, but was blind to God's provision in getting me there. God showed me that, and through the circumstances I was able to learn a lesson. One that I knew in my head, but had forgotten in my heart. The easy way that I wanted is not the way that was best. It's like that old phrase, "The best is oft enemy of the good." My was was good, but it was no the best. If I had had my "good" way, I would have missed God's "best" way. Of course hindsight is 20/20, but I hope I take this lesson to heart. I know there are many areas in my life where it applies, where I need to remember patience and faith when I get tired and don't understand and just want my way, and I want it right away. So many verses come to mind from these thoughts.
Proverbs 16:25
There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death.
Proverbs 21:2
All a man's ways seem right to him,
but the LORD weighs the heart.
I Corinthians 1:25
For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom,
and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Job 37:5
God's voice thunders in marvelous ways;
he does great things beyond our understanding.
God I just pray that I would remember and have trust in you, faithfully and continually and unceasingly. Thank you. Help me to know and remember the difference between want and need, and to trust you for both. Amen
"Man proposes but God disposes"
--Thomas à Kempis, 1450, The Imitation of Christ (full text here.)
"For man purposith and god disposith."
[c 1450 tr. T. à Kempis' De Imitatione Christi (EETS) i. xix.]
I'm not talking about what I think I need, but what I actually do need. This was reinforced to me this afternoon.
I've been having a bit of car trouble, most recently having my car die on my way home from work. I was driving along, and then the radio cuts out, the power steering seems to stop working, and flooring it isn't getting me over 20mph. I pull over, check everything under the hood that I know how, and can't figure it out. I let it sit for a moment, drive it around the block where I pulled over a couple times, then as I'm trying to get back on the road, it completely dies - no click-click-click, no straining to start, no anything at all. Car's dead. I call the mechanic, explain what happened, he says it sounds like the alternator, suggests I get a new battery, should be able to get back to Concord from Palo Alto that way. I call my buddy Sale, he comes and takes me to Sears, I get a battery, put that in, and am able to get back home. Still have the root problem to take care of - just needing a new battery would have been too easy.
Anyway, so this morning I call my mechanic up again, and he tells me to bring the car on over to his house. Car starts up okay, but midway there I start losing power again. I'm praying, "God, please just get me there. I need to know you're with me. Just make all the lights green so I know you're with me and I can get there okay." See, the car was having the most problems whenever I slowed down. If I didn't have to slow down, I should be alright getting there. I've driven across town with all green lights multiple times, so I thought my request was well within reason, and would help me know God was with me. Doesn't happen. I get of the main road and start toward Irfan's house, and there's a light, and the car dies. It won't turnover, nothing. I'm able to get past the light by pushing the car off to the side, and then I call Irfan. I'm only a few blocks away, so he tells me to walk to his place and get a jumper kit and see if I can finish making it to his place if I can get the car going again. So I do that. Those things are heavy by the way. A battery is like 50 pounds I would guess, and the little jumper pack must be 30 or so. It's not that that's so heavy in and of itself, but its weight is unexpected for its size. Anyway, I get back to my car, am able to jump it alright, and excitedly start driving to his house again. I start going up a hill, and it dies again. Stop, move off to the side, pop the hood, jump the battery, close hood, get in, and press the gas to go again, but it's already died again *sigh* - get out, repeat the procedure. This time I think through the procedure, shave unnecessary actions that slowed me down, and manage to unhook the jumper, close the hood, get in the car, and press the gas in probably about 2.5 seconds, and am just barely able to catch it before it dies again and get the gas going. Flooring it let's me build up speed to about 10mph, I slingshot around the last corner, where it promptly dies again, but I have just enough momentum to coast up the hill far enough to make it to his house. I'm thinking to myself, "God, why didn't you help me get here" as he tests the engine and confirms that the alternator is dead (it was putting out like .76 volts, when it's supposed to do 12 volts). Driving me home, Irfan is saying that he knew God helped me get home and get to his place. That's when it hit me. I wanted God to make it easy on me and just make all the lights green and let me get there without any more problems and just coast up to Irfan's house. I needed to get my car there so he could fix it. I thought that I needed the lights to be green for that to happen. I didn't, but was blind to God's provision in getting me there. God showed me that, and through the circumstances I was able to learn a lesson. One that I knew in my head, but had forgotten in my heart. The easy way that I wanted is not the way that was best. It's like that old phrase, "The best is oft enemy of the good." My was was good, but it was no the best. If I had had my "good" way, I would have missed God's "best" way. Of course hindsight is 20/20, but I hope I take this lesson to heart. I know there are many areas in my life where it applies, where I need to remember patience and faith when I get tired and don't understand and just want my way, and I want it right away. So many verses come to mind from these thoughts.
Proverbs 16:25
There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death.
Proverbs 21:2
All a man's ways seem right to him,
but the LORD weighs the heart.
I Corinthians 1:25
For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom,
and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Job 37:5
God's voice thunders in marvelous ways;
he does great things beyond our understanding.
God I just pray that I would remember and have trust in you, faithfully and continually and unceasingly. Thank you. Help me to know and remember the difference between want and need, and to trust you for both. Amen
"Man proposes but God disposes"
--Thomas à Kempis, 1450, The Imitation of Christ (full text here.)
"For man purposith and god disposith."
[c 1450 tr. T. à Kempis' De Imitatione Christi (EETS) i. xix.]
